He's Back!

Aw, geez, thanks guys. And Julie, you better rinse my glee with soap and water when you're done with it. It's a pourous surface. I couldn't affford the glass.
So, I've been sitting on three diifferent posts for the longest time partially because I have been a bit down about running recently, but mostly because I've been in the library. I think I will distill the three down to their essence and give them all in this one post, because I don't want to irrepairably damage the blog with three successive, manic posts. :)

Running News Numero Uno: I bought a new pair of shoes! There is a running store around the corner that actually is housed in the not-too-distant- future. If you've been to Germany, you understand that quite often you will randomly walk into a building built of nothing more than glass, steel, and flex capacitors. I estimate that I actually spent a full hour in the year 2023. But it was worth it because I bought a new pair of shoes that are, by all accounts, absolutely hideous. (Well, thats really only the opinion of me and the seven year old girl next door. Her little sister likes them.) They're a bright orangish color. Imagine turning a cantaloupe inside out, and then sticking your foot in it. That's my shoe. And I got two of them.
The whole process was fantastic. I walked in, and asked them if they had the brand of shoe I currently use. We then tried on three different models of shoes, and they filmed me running on a treadmill. After each run, I would go back and watch my legs on a computer monitor, on to which we could trace the "angles of my ankles" in order to decide which shoes were least likely to kill me.

I walked out with the same type that I walked in with.

However, as I was checking out, the woman asked me if I would be interested in wearing a shirt sponsoring both the store and a local beer during the marathon. She actually asked if I ws interested in a free five liter keg of beer. I openly laughed at her, then sold my soul to the demons of sponsorship. I think this kills my amateur status, which means I can no longer play football for Cal. BUT as soon as I cross the finish line, there are supposed to be two women who douse me in beer. Or something like that. Take that Nike.

Late Running Post Nummer two) I was going to ask people for advice on this weekend. I made up my mind already. I'll let you know more about it later.

Late Running Post Numero Drei) I ran 16 miles very slowly on Sunday. Slower than slow. I'm not even going to bother with the splits, but I think I averaged around 9:35 a mile. It poured on us harder and longer than I've ever experienced. I had to keep taking off my shirt and wringing it out because the fabric was weighed down from excess water. The running itself was relatively comfortable, but I'm tired of spending 2 hours in the rain. Really! I mean it! Now stop. Please. HOWEVER, as Tessa was riding along, she took some great pictures of some of the areas we went through. There would have been more, but these were just the ones we could get in before we got drenched:


I think these are both taken right before Tessa had to evasively stow the camera under sixteen layers of plastic and, um, wool, to keep it dry.

.

Speaking of pictures...
Next door to the running shop is a waterbed store, which advertises itself relatively prodigiously. In fact, it has signs everywhere around our neighborhood. We love these signs, because they're hilarious, and I decided to take a picture of one to share with you, since we run by it so often:

For full effect, another close up is more than necessary:

The prosaic question would be whether this is the gayest advertisement outside of the castro. However, that question answers itself. Yes. Indeed, this may be the gayest sign in the world, aside from the one outside the spa next door to Mecca.

The real question would be:
What makes this sign so gay?

Is it the font used for the store's name? Or is it the name of the store itself, which succesfully evokes an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical?
Is it the picture? This sign only captures a bit of it, but the full poster shows this piece o' meat on one of the said waterbeds, sprawled on some sort of animal pelt, wearing only a pair of tighty-whities (For the record, I think that is the first time I have ever typed, or read, that word...).
Or is it the subtitle? It is a catchy quote, and I think it is my favorite part of the poster: "Irgendwann schläft jeder mit uns." (Loose translation, "Everyone sleeps with us sometime.") What's best about this quote is that it ironically appropriates a format usually reserved for thinly veiled threats. Think of Darth Vader telling Luke Skywalker that its useless to resist the power of the dark side. Or think of the marijuana dealer in an After School Special. He threatens the integrity and sanctity of the puiblic junior high by dealing drugs while (usually correctly) telling the most righteous students that they, too, will get hooked on pot. Now look at that quote alongside this guy on his waterbed, and you'll understand. Eventually, you WILL break down and sleep with him. Everyone does. Not only does this establish the company as sluts, but it also may be the only ad campaign I've ever seen that is directed almost entirely at the largely untapped bi-curious market share. It's okay, dude. Everyone's doing it.

So, I think that all of these aspects combine into one big and messy gay-media dialectic, and thats what makes this the gayest sign in the world.

I'm still not buying a damn waterbed though.